[But it is. There's a certain degree of separation between what is seen in the Drift and what happens outside it. Not all pilots integrate knowledge shared through the neural link outside of a Jaeger, not all pilots end up here. She's seen the Wei triplets playing basketball as a way of coping with the aftermath, the Kaidonovskys locking themselves up in their room and blasting off loud house music, the Hansens ignore each other harder, but this part -
- this would be what the BecketandMori do. Cling. Like they've never felt a human being near them before.]
[It just-- doesn't sit right with him when she calls him that. Mister Becket. Mister Becket is a stranger, it's his father, his uncle, hell it could even be Yancy but it's not him. Not to her, he doesn't like her thinking of him that formally.
The Beckets used to cling to each other, after the Drift. They would wrestle and high five and hang arms around each other's necks and sometimes Raleigh would push his way into Yancy's bed and use his shoulder as a pillow. They were almost constantly touching, kind of like-- how he and Mako are now, like Raleigh needs that physical contact to assure himself that she's real, this is real, it's happened.
He's been starved for attention, affection, connection for five years, can you really blame him for latching on to her as hard?]
[He remembers physical affection more accurately than Mako does, and that's the reality behind which she clings to him the way that she does. Her heartbeat skips at the question, and she feels as flustered as-
the day she almost went into his room thinking it was her own because the pull towards it had felt right, logical, normal.
the day she made a comment about him to sensei only to have him answer he in irreproachable Japanese with a sort of easy smile. (She knows how long it had been for him until that smile.)
the day she'd pinned him to the mat and he'd looked up at her with awe and admiration, sweat colouring his shoulders and his neck, and sending heat into the pit of her belly.]
[Is she serious? Raleigh shifts, doesn't really let go of her but moves so he can try to catch her eye better.]
More personal than this?
[Wrapped up in each other, sharing the same bed all night, literally sharing the same headspace, how is calling him by his name any more personal than that.]
[She flusters, because she doesn't expect him to understand her completely on this. He went from Miss Mori to Mako in the space of a single day and one almost Drift on the mat in the kwoon. But to Mako it's personal, it's opening up to being hurt. It's calling your adoptive father sensei even though you ache to call him 'dad' at least once in your life, it's not doing it because you're afraid it'll make him disappear.
Raleigh won't disappear. She's gripping his shirt hard, fingers sunken into the fabric and pulling at it. He's real. He's not a danger to her - he's an anchor. Right?
Besides, how is it not personal already that she begged him to come back, terrified that he had gone and died on her.
The fact that it makes every conversation between them sound intimate is moot. They're tangled up together, it's already intimate. Made moreso, when Mako finally whispers his name, a tender and soft,] Raleigh.
[She's going to rip a hole in his shirt, the way she's going. But Raleigh's okay with that, doesn't try to pry her fingers from the fabric. He lets her do whatever she wants, because he's there for her, he's not going anywhere. There's nothing she can do to make him leave.]
[If she does, if it comes down to that, she'll be very apologetic and try to fix it whichever way she can. Replace it for him. But until it does, her fingers stay put where they are.
Her expression does soften, though, like he'd smoothed the wrinkles of her frown away.]
[It's just a shirt really, it's not like he's super attached to it and it's not like he won't be able to find another one. If he minded anyway, he would say something about it by now.]
Yeah. It'd really suck to start fighting with you now.
Again? [Because they've had tension between them before, haven't they? It's not obedience, Mr. Becket, it's respect. And that spar in the kwoon that had been Mako at her worst: goading and teasing and testing him before knocking him flat on his back. It wouldn't be the first time they've fought, but it's undeniable that they work better together when they don't.
Only - what have they got left to work together on now? With no Jaegers to jockey, what can they possibly do together?
Strange, that the idea of not being on a team with Raleigh makes her feel uncomfortable. I've just found him. She forces the frown away from her face; one day at a time from now on, without the panic from before. They'll figure it out, like he said.]
[Was that really fighting? Maybe he's just different but he thinks of fighting with his co-pilot like being irritated with her, with punching her in the face because she's being such a bitch, with making snide comments because sometimes, sometimes it just feels good to be passive aggressive. Or maybe that was just everything that he did with Yancy, because his brother used to piss him off all the time.
Because seriously, he loved goading her, getting under her skin and maybe that makes him a shithead and a bad person but he's okay with that.]
Lies. [There's a shadow of a smile at the corner of her lips, because Mako's not yet ready to smile. And she knocks his knees with hers.] You were something - I could feel it.
I thought it was male bravado, not being able to take criticism. Was it?
Not... really. [He was irritated by her criticism but it wasn't because his male pride was at stake. It was because Raleigh doesn't like people standing on the sidelines and acting like they know better when they haven't proven themselves.]
[The look she gives him is a little too smug for the moment, doesn't fit well with them being tangled together the way they are, not if she wants to keep things - you know, platonic. But she can't help herself, like she couldn't help herself from goading him during their fight.]
[They feed off each other, don't they. Goading each other and pushing each other further and further and it's the same kind of competition that drove him and his brother to being such great pilots too. It's not that he wants to beat her because she irritates him but because she inspires the best in him and he wants to impress her.]
[He says it with such unassuming honesty that it makes her breath catch, body reacting without permission and putting a blush on her cheeks. But honesty begets honesty.]
You too. [By being everything she didn't expect him to be, by looking up at her like that, by practically sending off the vibes of an over-excited puppy when they find their soulmate. Or something.]
Yeah? [He sounds quietly pleased by that, her head's tucked at an angle that he can't really see her blush but he can kind of feel it and that brings a smile to his face that he can't tame.]
[Can't be tamed She pulls away with a small frown, because guess what she can't decide if that's honest or meant to be insulting. Ice Queen Mori, yeah, she's heard that before.]
[It's honest and not at all meant to be insulting because of it. Maybe Raleigh thought she was an ice queen kind of girl when he first met her, especially when she told him that she didn't think he was the right person for the mission but he doesn't anymore.]
You just seemed really hard to impress. You did tell me you didn't think I was right for the job, remember?
[Does she? She's not sure she knows how to be warm. Look, here now: he's the main source of heat between them, his arms are wrapped around her, his clothes are more inviting, his smile is - his smile - he is the magnet. Not her.]
I didn't think it, at first. [She means nothing by it, it's an honest admittance.] You changed my mind.
[It's really only around her that he lets his guard down enough to be warm these days. Anyone else and he's cold and distant and ignores them more often than not but it's Mako.
That's really all there is to say about it.
Raleigh smiles at her now, runs his hand up along her side for a moment.]
Glad for it. It would've sucked to have anyone but you in there with me.
[That gesture, the simplest and smallest of gestures, probably done without thinking at all; it has her holding her breath for a moment, feeling the way it sends a shiver up her spine, spreads through her body like liquid heat, spreads goosebumps on her skin.
[Raleigh hums in agreement, because she's right. For whatever reason, they work really well together, compliment each other in all the ways that they need it. He's a calming presence on her vengeance and she makes him think for a half second longer than he normally would, consider different possibilities.
It wouldn't have been the same with anyone else, but that's not all what he meant.]
I wouldn't have liked anyone else there nearly as much as you either.
[Getting revenge was a calming presence on her vengeance, he was the balm that helped when she realised no revenge would ever return her parents to her, and no revenge would ever feel enough.
She looks at him for a silent moment, letting those words wash over her. She tries to think about him in the Jaeger with anyone else, and she doesn't see them both surviving. She doesn't see him struggling to get to the surface just because there's a future that he can now picture for himself. And to think, he almost didn't find that.
Gently, she lets her thumb brush under his eyes.]
It's a good thing you knew which buttons to push, then.
[Raleigh closes his eyes when she does that, and because he's thinking of the same thing, picking up on the direction of her thoughts whether he realizes it or not. And no, he wouldn't have fought as hard to come back if it were anyone else in that conn pod with him.
If he stayed there, he would've seen Yancy again. Mako is the only person he has ever considered giving that up for.]
Why did you restore her? Instead of designing a new one?
[Shout to all my lost Beckets in the heaven, sorry for keeping him around for a little longer, suckers.]
Why design something new, when the original was already so good? [She shakes her head, as if the idea never once occured to her. Even if they had had the sponsorship and money for it, she would've still spearheaded the motion to restore Gipsy Danger instead. Telling him that it was because the Jaeger had called to her in the junkyard was ridiculous.
Telling him the other reason was...well. He could decide.] I thought she would need revenge just as much.
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- this would be what the BecketandMori do. Cling. Like they've never felt a human being near them before.]
I'm mad at a lot of things, Mr. Becket.
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The Beckets used to cling to each other, after the Drift. They would wrestle and high five and hang arms around each other's necks and sometimes Raleigh would push his way into Yancy's bed and use his shoulder as a pillow. They were almost constantly touching, kind of like-- how he and Mako are now, like Raleigh needs that physical contact to assure himself that she's real, this is real, it's happened.
He's been starved for attention, affection, connection for five years, can you really blame him for latching on to her as hard?]
Why don't you call me Raleigh?
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the day she almost went into his room thinking it was her own because the pull towards it had felt right, logical, normal.
the day she made a comment about him to sensei only to have him answer he in irreproachable Japanese with a sort of easy smile. (She knows how long it had been for him until that smile.)
the day she'd pinned him to the mat and he'd looked up at her with awe and admiration, sweat colouring his shoulders and his neck, and sending heat into the pit of her belly.]
It's - very personal.
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More personal than this?
[Wrapped up in each other, sharing the same bed all night, literally sharing the same headspace, how is calling him by his name any more personal than that.]
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Raleigh won't disappear. She's gripping his shirt hard, fingers sunken into the fabric and pulling at it. He's real. He's not a danger to her - he's an anchor. Right?
Besides, how is it not personal already that she begged him to come back, terrified that he had gone and died on her.
The fact that it makes every conversation between them sound intimate is moot. They're tangled up together, it's already intimate. Made moreso, when Mako finally whispers his name, a tender and soft,] Raleigh.
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Not so mad at me anymore then, yeah?
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Her expression does soften, though, like he'd smoothed the wrinkles of her frown away.]
It wouldn't accomplish anything.
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Yeah. It'd really suck to start fighting with you now.
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Only - what have they got left to work together on now? With no Jaegers to jockey, what can they possibly do together?
Strange, that the idea of not being on a team with Raleigh makes her feel uncomfortable. I've just found him. She forces the frown away from her face; one day at a time from now on, without the panic from before. They'll figure it out, like he said.]
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Because seriously, he loved goading her, getting under her skin and maybe that makes him a shithead and a bad person but he's okay with that.]
I wasn't mad. That was all you.
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I thought it was male bravado, not being able to take criticism. Was it?
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I thought you were just all talk.
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You know better now.
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Yeah. You pretty much rocked my world.
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You too. [By being everything she didn't expect him to be, by looking up at her like that, by practically sending off the vibes of an over-excited puppy when they find their soulmate. Or something.]
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I didn't think that was possible for you.
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Can't be tamedShe pulls away with a small frown, because guess what she can't decide if that's honest or meant to be insulting. Ice Queen Mori, yeah, she's heard that before.]What do you mean?
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You just seemed really hard to impress. You did tell me you didn't think I was right for the job, remember?
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I didn't think it, at first. [She means nothing by it, it's an honest admittance.] You changed my mind.
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That's really all there is to say about it.
Raleigh smiles at her now, runs his hand up along her side for a moment.]
Glad for it. It would've sucked to have anyone but you in there with me.
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He should do it again. Or stop.]
The Drift would not have been as strong.
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It wouldn't have been the same with anyone else, but that's not all what he meant.]
I wouldn't have liked anyone else there nearly as much as you either.
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She looks at him for a silent moment, letting those words wash over her. She tries to think about him in the Jaeger with anyone else, and she doesn't see them both surviving. She doesn't see him struggling to get to the surface just because there's a future that he can now picture for himself. And to think, he almost didn't find that.
Gently, she lets her thumb brush under his eyes.]
It's a good thing you knew which buttons to push, then.
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If he stayed there, he would've seen Yancy again. Mako is the only person he has ever considered giving that up for.]
Why did you restore her? Instead of designing a new one?
wow i hate you for that one line
Why design something new, when the original was already so good? [She shakes her head, as if the idea never once occured to her. Even if they had had the sponsorship and money for it, she would've still spearheaded the motion to restore Gipsy Danger instead. Telling him that it was because the Jaeger had called to her in the junkyard was ridiculous.
Telling him the other reason was...well. He could decide.] I thought she would need revenge just as much.
i hate you for this reply ;;
i knew you would 8)
swallows sadness
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