[It's exactly like losing Yancy all over again. Only it's worse because it's Mako and you don't Drift with someone three times in about a day and walk away from them. Not ever, not even if he wanted to, not even if he could draw the line in the sand and say this is Mako's and this is mine, because it's not that simple. It's theirs and they're both all each other has left in life, even their girl Gipsy is gone and that loss hurts too, the only thing that makes it manageable is that she served her purpose. Went down with a fight.
Raleigh loves his brother, misses him every single day, would still do just about anything to get him back even if he's more or less made his peace with his mistakes that night. The silence that follows after Mako like, literally melts in his arms into a puddle of... something, it's worse than that cold February morning. It's worse because he doesn't have anything to fight against in that moment, doesn't have the imminent threat of a kaiju trying to kill him to make him focus, to fight to live and kill the son of a bitch that took his brother, doesn't even have the Jaeger to stumble back to shore in and he still doesn't know how he did it, how he walked Gipsy back to shore on his own without seizing but he did.
The Doctor raises his screwdriver and that buzzing is all he can hear in his head. It's the sound of the silence, where one second Mako was there and bright, her mind brushing against his like it has for so long now, and then it's just gone and he'd liken it to being a rock concert for several hours and then stepping outside and realizing you can't hear anything. To being thrown head first into a brick wall just to see what would happen. He can see the Doctor talking, sees his mouth move but for the life of him, Raleigh can't make sense of it. His head is screaming for Mako's, where is she, where did she go, is she dead, mako mako mako mako no come back please don't leave no and it hurts so much so suddenly that fainting would probably be a mercy.
He doesn't faint, he just sees the Doctor and he doesn't think, doesn't try to rationalize what just happened, Mako's gone, not in another part of the TARDIS, not trapped somewhere, gone and it's the Doctor's fault and Raleigh walks right up to him and punches him.]
omg your doctor is so good i want to die
Raleigh loves his brother, misses him every single day, would still do just about anything to get him back even if he's more or less made his peace with his mistakes that night. The silence that follows after Mako like, literally melts in his arms into a puddle of... something, it's worse than that cold February morning. It's worse because he doesn't have anything to fight against in that moment, doesn't have the imminent threat of a kaiju trying to kill him to make him focus, to fight to live and kill the son of a bitch that took his brother, doesn't even have the Jaeger to stumble back to shore in and he still doesn't know how he did it, how he walked Gipsy back to shore on his own without seizing but he did.
The Doctor raises his screwdriver and that buzzing is all he can hear in his head. It's the sound of the silence, where one second Mako was there and bright, her mind brushing against his like it has for so long now, and then it's just gone and he'd liken it to being a rock concert for several hours and then stepping outside and realizing you can't hear anything. To being thrown head first into a brick wall just to see what would happen. He can see the Doctor talking, sees his mouth move but for the life of him, Raleigh can't make sense of it. His head is screaming for Mako's, where is she, where did she go, is she dead, mako mako mako mako no come back please don't leave no and it hurts so much so suddenly that fainting would probably be a mercy.
He doesn't faint, he just sees the Doctor and he doesn't think, doesn't try to rationalize what just happened, Mako's gone, not in another part of the TARDIS, not trapped somewhere, gone and it's the Doctor's fault and Raleigh walks right up to him and punches him.]