[The sound of a crying baby is pretty much like being punched in the heart for him. He'll be in the grocery store, completely minding his own business, looking at the steak selection because it's his turn to make dinner tonight and if he forgets again then Jazmine is going to slap him, and a woman will walk by with her baby in the cart and the kid will start crying or even laughing (laughing is actually worse somehow) and he'll stiffen and his eyes will get damp at the corners and he'll have to turn away before he starts crying in the meat aisle.
Because he never really wanted to be a father until the chance got taken away from him and he tries to tell himself that he hates her for it, that he hates her for making that choice and most of the time it works.
Sometimes, it doesn't and Raleigh will spend half the night on his sister's little balcony, smoking like a chimney and that used to drive her absolutely bonkers but she gets why he does it now, why he needs that vice and it's probably better than going out and getting drunk or high or killed but he has to do it outside. Those are the rules.
He's in the middle of a smoke break at work when a baby's cry cuts through the air and Raleigh actually has to excuse himself from the group of guys, mumble something about needing to take a piss because fuck, he needs to get a handle on himself. It's been almost two years since he's even seen Mako, since she got rid of their baby, it shouldn't bother him this much still.
Except it does and clearly he's having a mental breakdown because he'd swear that the Japanese woman a few feet away, walking right at him, looks just like Mako. Except she's got a baby in her arms, of course she does because he's going crazy and hallucinating apparently, imagining the one thing that he wanted more than anything.
i hate you more than words can say
Because he never really wanted to be a father until the chance got taken away from him and he tries to tell himself that he hates her for it, that he hates her for making that choice and most of the time it works.
Sometimes, it doesn't and Raleigh will spend half the night on his sister's little balcony, smoking like a chimney and that used to drive her absolutely bonkers but she gets why he does it now, why he needs that vice and it's probably better than going out and getting drunk or high or killed but he has to do it outside. Those are the rules.
He's in the middle of a smoke break at work when a baby's cry cuts through the air and Raleigh actually has to excuse himself from the group of guys, mumble something about needing to take a piss because fuck, he needs to get a handle on himself. It's been almost two years since he's even seen Mako, since she got rid of their baby, it shouldn't bother him this much still.
Except it does and clearly he's having a mental breakdown because he'd swear that the Japanese woman a few feet away, walking right at him, looks just like Mako. Except she's got a baby in her arms, of course she does because he's going crazy and hallucinating apparently, imagining the one thing that he wanted more than anything.
But it really does look like--] Mako?